winchesterprayers:

today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

(Source: bewilderedbertl, via coluring)

enures:

If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?

(via coluring)

ostracizedpoodle:

Im not allowed outside after dark because i outshine all the stars and the moon so baby sea turtles always end up flocking to me

(via coluring)

coolscar:

coolscar:

i think im gonna lay down…………

THE LAW! you all thought i was going to bed! justice never sleeps, haha suckers

(via nerdjpg)

meladoodle:

*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man

(via coluring)